Birthday Cards and a Story: A Few Jokes

My brother and sister in law's birthdays are coming up and I made these cards for them.

I was having a low energy day, but wanted to get them off, so I just persevered with making them; when I finished, pleased that they had turned out pretty well, I realized I had done Tim's card upside down! So I gave it a rest and the next day, I cut the card in two, put it together in the right way and used patterned tape on the inside and outside so it would stay together and fold. Not too bad! The brown tape with polka dots matched the card pretty well, and the other tape looked fine on the inside. Yay!

Tim's Card

 Kayla's Card

There's glitter on the butterfly on Kayla's card and some around the T on Tim's.

A Few Jokes

38th in the Tuesday Story Series

And I really am going to share a few jokes with you! Sometimes something funny will stick with you over the years, and the following three jokes have stuck with me. When several of my nieces and nephews were young, I told the last two to them and they laughed so hard and every time I saw them after that, they would ask me to tell them again. Now, they probably aren't cool jokes any more, but I still like them!

 The first joke, I just find funny because it shows people are the same no matter what country they are from. Pride and honesty is everywhere!

#1. Diplomacy 

From the Reader's Digest, 1960's era

(true story)

A Soviet delegation from Moscow was in Texas to view several agricultural and industrial sites. The Texan leading the group of Texan businessmen as hosts used every opportunity to brag about all things Texan, and that Texas had the biggest and best of anything in the world. As they all boarded a train to travel to another site, the Texan said to the Soviets "You can travel on this train all day and still be in Texas!" to which the leader of the Soviets replied with a sympathetic smile and a shake of his head

"Da! We have the same problem with Soviet trains - always breaking down!"

#2. Bad Potato 

From the Reader's Digest, 1980's era

A man was seated in a nice restaurant and had just received his dinner. As he began to cut the potato, he was dismayed to see that it was not what he was expecting. Indignant, he called over the waitress and exclaimed "Hey! Ma'am, this potato is bad!" 

The waitress, not missing a beat, set down what she was carrying 

and picked up the potato and began to spank it.

"Bad potato! Bad! Bad!!"

And then she set the potato back on the diner's plate and said to him "Now if this potato gives you any more trouble, you just let me know!" 

#3. War

From David Brenner, on a very long ago Tonight Show with Johnny Carson

(if you retell this, be sure to use plenty of arm motions!)

A young man's country was at war, and the young man decided he wanted to join up and help his country. He joined the Army and was directed to the Field Sergeant for his gear.

The Sarge told him that they had given out all of the weapons, and the young man was disappointed. But the Sarge had an idea, grabbed a stick on the ground and thrust it at the new recruit. "What am I supposed to do with this??" he asked in astonishment and Sarge said "Easy! Just point it at the enemy and say Bangy! Bangy! Bangy!" The recruit looked at him wordlessly, and just then the Sergeant looked around and grabbed a piece of string, tied it on the end of the stick and told the man this was his bayonet. "What??" said the hapless recruit, and before he could say more, Sarge said "Sure! You just go "Stabby Stabby Stabby" using motions to show what he meant.

So the recruit went off to the front line and lo and behold, it worked just like the Sarge had said it would!

"Bangy! Bangy! Bangy!" and the enemy soldier fell to the ground!

"Stabby! Stabby! Stabby!" and more enemy soldiers were down!

He began to feel pretty confident now, seeing all the enemy lying dead on the ground around him, when he spied another one approaching over the hill.

"Bangy! Bangy! Bangy!" 

....... but the guy kept coming......

BANGY! BANGY! BANGY!"

...... but the guy headed straight for him......

Confused, the recruit realized he was close enough for the bayonet, so  frantically he was yelling

"STABBY! STABBY! STABBY!

BANGY! BANGY! BANGY!

STABBY! STABBY! STABBY!"

But it was useless! The enemy soldier ran right into him, knocked him on the ground, and walked over him!

And the last words the recruit heard were.......

TANKY.   TANKY.  TANKY.

Hope you enjoyed them! :)

Come see my latest postcards I've received on Postcards Buffet!